How to Give Recognition
As I began to develop the concept of Recognition Styles I soon realized that recognizing others was nothing new in my life. As a matter of fact, I might even say I am predisposed to recognize those around me for even the smallest of things. This helped me to realize that while I am personally wired this way, many people are not.
Free Money and the Value of Recognition
I was speaking with a friend recently that told me it was very hard for them to just go up to a stranger and begin talking. I think that's difficult for most of us, even those who easily give recognition. I hate to use such a monetary example but it seems appropriate in this case, "recognition is like free money, everyone is happy to receive it but it sure can be hard to give away". If you realize that giving recognition to another will likely be received as if you just gave away something the other values very much then it may help you to better and more freely give recognition to others. I also believe like most things, the more you do it, the more natural it will come.
From Weakness to Greatness
There will be those that read this and feel like recognizing others is a sure sign of weakness on their part. Whatever has conditioned someone into believing this, the fact is nothing could be further from the truth. To honor another in showing your appreciation is quite an honorable act, nearly a dying art in our times. Giving recognition goes beyond a shallow "Thank You", genuine recognition comes from a sincere understanding that you have been given something that you recognize has value. This positive act of pouring into others a sincere complement has an afterglow effect that others will also experience. Be it a Waiter or Corporate Assistant, when they sense you genuinely value what they have to offer they will likely desire to do it even better next time. This instills a great sense of self worth in the other person and encourages them too also express their gratitude to others.
A Positive Way to make a Positive Change
How do we find ways to positively change the world around us? There are many groups and programs that claim to have the answer. Personally, I believe in the idea that we are more than an accident and we're here to support, encourage and love those around us. Practically though, how do we do this? Let's take a few minutes to consider a day in the life of an average person.
A Day in the Life...
You wake up on a Monday morning, ready to start a new week. So what do you begin to fill your mind with in those waking moments, traffic, news, weather and sports? Does this instill a sense of hope and purpose for your day or does it send your mind worrying about all the things that could go wrong?
Take a mental inventory as you begin your routine, if you could chart each 30 minutes on a scale from encouraging, uplifting to depressing and discouraging where would your chart show you spent much of your getting ready time? Here's a good place to start, look for encouraging and positive input to your day. I personally start my day watching something that teaches me something new or interesting such as history or science. Many years ago a friend recommended I read the "Proverb of the Day". Even though I have read through the them countless times, I always find something that encourages me and that I can apply that day with the people I come in contact with. Whatever it is that fills your mind in the beginning of the day, make sure it's a positive asset to your life, building you up to be the person you desire to be.
OK, so you've left the house and soon you'll be in traffic with the rest of the crowd all trying to get to the office, this can be a great time to do something really different. Make a concerted effort to be courteous to the guy who needs to get over at the last minute, even if you start with small acts of kindness, this will get you mentally ready for the rest of your day.
As you walk into your place of employment, look for those genuine opportunities to say "Good Morning" to someone. This really has an afterglow effect as that person senses they have value in your eyes just for being another person who you came in contact with. Don't be surprised when you hear them say "Good Morning" to others as you continue on your way. This afterglow effect is a natural outcome of genuine recognition.
As your day progresses, consider all the small things happening around you that allow you to get your job done. Take a moment to get up and personally tell someone "Thank You" for the help they gave you by completing that report, making copies or other tasks. This is a great way to help a team of people grow. Showing appreciation for those around you will have a cascading effect that can reduce stress and increase satisfaction throughout the day for everyone.
As you drive home, try to shed the stress of the day before you walk in the door. If you have young children, odds are they are going to be excited you are home, give them the love and affection they cherish so much. Remember in ten years from now, you may be at the same job with the same stresses but they might be out of the house. Take this time to let them know how important they are to you.
Set aside some private time to talk with with your spouse, even if it's 15 or 20 minutes when you get home. If you both work then make this a special time each day when you will both likely be at home and make sure the kids understand this is a special time for the two of you. Share those few stresses that you needed to share with one another but remember to ask how your spouses day was as well.
Find some time each evening to have as family time. This could be couch time to watch a favorite show or a time to play board games or do a puzzle. Talk over dinner about the adventures of the day. This family time is a great time to recognize and encourage your spouse and kids.
Conclusion
This Day in the Life scenario gives you a simple model of how you can implement recognition into many areas of your life. The best method of all is to make recognition a natural part of your day, being aware of those you are around and to recognize the many things they are doing.
Your Feedback
I hope this has been useful to you, I would enjoy getting your feedback and hear the creative ways you are finding to recognize those around you. Please feel free to write me at Greg@GregPaskal.com
Sincerely,
Greg Paskal
